No sugar, ever
We’ll tell you your "fine" is actually stuck, your boosting isn’t marketing, and your last logo was a waste. You’ll thank us later.
Who we are
A port is where ships go to rot.
"Hard a-port" is the command you shout to swing the ship hard before it hits the rocks. That's the whole company. You've been drifting toward the rocks and calling it stability. We turn the wheel.
We Give A F*ck. We just don’t care.
What we're not
We're not your friends, your yes-men, or another vendor to tick a box. We're not going to clap for "fine," hype your feelings, or sell you a plan we know you won't run.
We're the people who tell you the truth, charge you so it counts, and then actually do the work. You focus on sailing. We handle the ship, the crew, the identity, the campaigns.
No spin
- ✓We're new. We're telling you instead of hiding it.
- ✓We've built 11 strategies. Five clients ran theirs solo ; no cut for us.
- ✓No faked numbers, reviews, or case studies. Ever.
- ✓2 businesses a month get our work free. We pick them.
How we work
What you're signing up for
Clarity over noise
We sell the map between where you are and where you want to be. Not 12 posts a month nobody asked for. Strategy first, always.
All-in or not at all
We don’t do maybes or half-jobs. If we take you on, we’re fully in. If we don’t, we’ll tell you straight.
Done being fine?
Read how THP works, then apply if you are ready to be examined honestly.